


More than 12 accidentally unsettling days of Christmas

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Caring Alec Trevelyan, Caring James Bond, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Not so clueless Q, One more Xmas fic before the end of the year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22016848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: Someone decided to interpret the carol their own way and starts gifting Q from the 1st of December.
Relationships: James Bond/Q, James Bond/Q/Alec Trevelyan, Q/Alec Trevelyan
Comments: 7
Kudos: 240





	More than 12 accidentally unsettling days of Christmas

The whole thing started on the very first day of December. Q had rushed into his office as usual even though he wasn’t late and almost threw his bags on his desk so he could dash over to the laboratories because he had an epiphany the night prior about two personal projects that were almost complete when he noticed a small black box with something shiny perfectly centred in-between his half-finished projects. 

It took him a moment to realize that he was looking at a silver tea strainer that was shaped like a cat. It was beyond cute and he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t use it until he reached for his plastic one in the cupboard by the door and found it broken.

Missing the strangeness of this gift wasn’t his fault as this was clearly left by someone who had felt bad for breaking his strainer and decided to replace it before he found out. Sweet, but a waste of money as he had a box filled with cheap strainers shoved somewhere in the back of his cup— oh, he had run out of them.

He decided to think of this as nothing more than a happy little coincidence.

***

On the 2nd of December, the happy little coincidence manifested itself in the form of two pairs of gloves on his desk, one made out of leather and the other of Cashmere. He was insisting on thinking about this whole thing as Lady luck favouring him once more because the day prior, he had destroyed his when he caught them in an unseen nail on the table they had in the outside shooting range when he was out there with James ‘007’ Bond, testing one of the many new weapons his minions had come up with.

He was so upset about the whole thing that he openly pouted in front of James, finding his personal space instantly invaded so his fingers could be carefully examined. “We should get you to Medical just in case the nail was rusty and it drew blood.”

Q allowed himself to enjoy James’ warmth for a moment before he pulled back, wiggling his fingers right in his face. “I was mourning the loss of my last pair of gloves, don’t worry. But I’ll mark this date in the calendar as the day 007 was willing to go to Medical.”

He was tempted to suspect James for the sudden appearance of the gloves but he had shipped him off on his mission as soon as Medical confirmed that he was good to go and he couldn’t spend too much time thinking about this because shit hit the fan and he was needed.

***

He found three ‘Scrabble’ mugs on the 3rd of December. The ‘J’ and ‘A’ made no sense – though in hindsight, they did and he was incredibly daft when faced with things not related to technology or agents in the field – but he was more than happy that he now had a ‘Q’ to replace the one that had dropped on the ground when he was startled by Alec ‘006’ Trevelyan’s sudden appearance in his office late one night two months ago.

“You are as skittish as a kitten and you also look like one,” Alec said to no one in particular, tugging Q away from the remains of his favourite mug so he could twirl him and get a better look. “But this long face is not the way to greet an agent that’s been out of the country for two years!”

“But it’s the perfect face for the agent who scared his Quartermaster and made him break his favourite mug,” Q hissed, pushing Alec away. “You’ll be as bad – if not worse – than 007 and I just can’t wait for those budgetary meetings that will double in lengths now that you are back.”

Alec swore that the mug was a one-off thing but then he was quick to prove Q right by losing the first equipment Q ever gave him even before he got to the airport. 

Well, he’ll make sure to keep Alec far away from this mysterious mug and use the other two at home because his cats were as destructive as the two banes of his existence.

***

By the 4th of December, he had caught on that something was off and he regarded the four Funko Pops representing Dr Who characters with more than a little bit of worry as he failed to find a paper trail to whoever bought the things.

Still, because the bomb squad didn’t find anything wrong with them and the poison tests came back negative, he saw no reason not to take them home with him.

***

Five old consoles that he had loved and tinkered to the point where he made a monstrosity that was supposed to incorporate all the games as a child waited for him on his desk on the 5th of December and this time he ran an extra test to make sure that they hadn’t been upgraded to funnel any information before taking them home and forgetting to go to sleep because they were just that fun.

***

The 6th day of the month brought with it one battered James Bond that was shipped off to medical the second he touched British soil, a worried Alec Trevelyan who refused to leave Q’s office until the doctors assured him that James wouldn’t die, and 6 USB sticks that each had a piece of different coding on them that made Q salivate – they also helped push the worry way in the back of his mind.

Alec was a surprisingly nice companion during that time, supplying him with food and tea and not breaking his new mug.

He was still no closer to finding out who was giving him these gifts but he wasn’t trying.

***

James spent the next four days in Medical so naturally, Q and Alec avoided going home as much as possible. Luckily for them, Q got seven Xbox games, eight PS4 games, nine Nintendo Switch games and ten PC games so they found ways of entertaining themselves especially since M had banned the both of them from touching anything that was even remotely related to work since they were in no condition not to screw up.

“I’m a bit weirded out,” Q admitted as he carefully sorted the games into ones that he would take homes and ones that he would put in his minions’ relaxation room – which was surprisingly bare, MI6 never having money to properly equip it.

Alec stopped toying with the cat tea strainer and looked up at Q, frowning. “Some would find having a secret admirer or two exhilarating.”

Q sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I started digging around sometime between the Xbox games and the PS4 games and can’t find any leads. On top of my shameful lack of results, no one knows who is bringing them here or how and…” He broke off into a huge yawn, relaxing when he felt Alec’s hand on his shoulder. 

“As if James and I would let anything harmful come within a hundred feet of you,” Alec said honestly, pulling Q’s coat on him and waiting for him to shove two black boxes in his backpack before grabbing it for him. “I thought you weren’t allowed to bring work home anymore.”

“It’s not work, it’s personal and I’ll appreciate it if you don’t nag me with your curiosity.”

Alec looked eyes with Q and narrowed his, the silent staring contest going on for half a minute before he made a show of looking away – his way of telling Q that he had let him win. “Would you feel better about the whole mysterious gifts if I dropped you off at home?”

He would so Alec did and got to meet his two cats and claimed the ‘A’ scrabble mug since Q deemed it beyond rude not to make him some tea before sending him on his way.

***

Q stayed home on the 11th day, Q was forced to stay home and he was kind of grateful for that, not quite strong enough to get out of bed for anything more than to feed his cats and go to the bathroom.

And answering his door since someone was quite insistent with their knocking.

He wasn’t shocked when he found James on the other side. “So, you’re not dead. Does Alec know that?”

James dropped his serious façade and smiled, holding out a cardboard box from behind his back that had been resealed. “This was dropped off for you just as I was being discharged and I thought that it would be nice of me to spare you a trip.” The apprehension was clear on Q’s face as he stared at the box. “It’s nothing more and nothing less than energy bars that are supposed to taste like chocolate.” He pulled one out that was already half-eaten. “They tested each and every one of them and I can guarantee you that the tests were right since I tried this one myself an hour ago - by the way, you live far from work - and I’m still alive and well. There were—”

“Eleven,” Q interrupted him, finally taking the box and stepping aside to let James enter the apartment. “I know the brand but I’m not a fan of it since it’s not sweet enough and they don’t give me energy.” He shuffled to the kitchen and started to make some tea, pulling out the scrabble mug with the ‘J’ on it. “Would you like some leaf water as thanks for bringing me this?”

Much to his surprise, James accepted although he looked utterly miserable as he drank it. Q was quick to take pity on him and asked Alec to drop by with some coffee and Chinese.

***

The 12th day rolled around and Q was still in his downtime, begrudgingly admitting to himself that the energy bars were kind of growing at him – even if they still didn’t do anything – when he received an e-mail notification on his work phone.

Letting out a groan, Q checked it and sighed in relief when he saw that it was only R telling him that an envelope containing 12 coupons with 50% off on every meal from his usual Chinese restaurant arrived for him and that they confirmed they were legit.

They weren’t quite part of the new promotion that the restaurant was running, the owner admitting that whoever paid for the free advertisement they were getting all over London only asked for those 12 coupons to be created and for them not to have an expiration date or an actual limit on how much Q ordered.

Sadly she also informed him that M put the restaurant on a ban for any MI6 employee until they got to the bottom of everything.

Q was allowed to keep the coupons even though he couldn’t use them.

***

The 13th day was Q’s last day off and it came and went without any new gifts arriving at MI6 for him, James and Alec asking him later that night if he felt better about that.

“I was curious what they were going to do next so I’m a bit disappointed,” Q admitted as he dug through his kitchen cabinets. “Also sorry Alec, but that was the last box of Belgian chocolates I had.”

***

When he came into the office on the 14th day, he wasn’t surprised when he found 14 boxes of Belgian chocolates on his desk, the suspicion he got the previous night having mostly been confirmed.

He told M what he thought, but the boxes were still confiscated until such a time that Q knew with a certainty what he was saying since that was the standard procedure when the Quartermaster received mysterious gifts.

***

A pretty high stack of thick books with boring brown covers greeted him on the 15th and Q was more than happy to flip through them, even as the head of security was explaining in great detail all the tests they did to make sure that they were safe.

“That sounds expensive,” Q said carefully.

“Very much so but at least it guaranteed us a hefty raise in funds from the new trimester onwards.”

***

Q had run out of tea just as the previous day came to an end but he didn’t bother buying any in the morning as he already knew that he was going to find 16 boxes of the stuff when he got to the office, chuckling when he was proved right.

He even had two tins that were supposed to taste like coffee and he tested them out on James, grinning from ear to ear when the beverage was praised.

James had much such a funny face when he found out that he not only drank tea but enjoyed it that Q laughed all the way to Test Lab 5, his disposition disappearing when Alec caused a minor explosion that cracked his last pair of glasses and gave him just the tiniest of cuts on his face which resulted in him being sent home.

***

He expected to be woken up by insistent knocks on the following day and he wasn’t disappointed, Alec breezing past him in the apartment without being invited and with a bag filled with 17 pairs of subscription glasses.

By now it was obvious who kept giving him gifts but Q didn’t say anything, curious to see where everything was going.

***

The 18th rolled around and sure enough, there was James at the door with 18 cat toys that had been dropped off at the office and what a pleasant coincidence it was given that his cats had preferred attacking Alec the day before to any of the half-destroyed toys that had been thrown in their way.

But the gift was more than welcome, his two cats abandoning the pair of socks they had stolen from Q’s drawers in favour of the mouse filled with catnip.

***

The 19 pairs of very fluffy socks should have been a very obvious gift, but Q was still surprised since everything was utterly ridiculous.

***

Q declaring his love for the fluffy socks resulted in him getting 20 sweaters from the same place on the 20th, but he was less than happy.

“This is getting ridiculously expensive,” he muttered as he busied himself in the kitchen preparing tea for himself and Alec while James cooked actual food next to him. “And what am I to do with all of the sweaters?”

“Well, this one looks nice on you and it’s colourful enough to be your style,” Alec said, his smile faltering under Q’s intense gaze. “I don’t see what’s wrong with getting gifts if they are safe and are in your style. Unless you don’t like the gifts?”

That went in the wrong direction quickly. “I like them quite a lot, but there is just too much money being spent over here. Plus, I thought it was the 12 days of Christmas, not—” He broke off and quickly turned his head away from the tea and the food, covering his mouth as he sneezed repeatedly, trying to nod his thanks to Alec who predicted the dizziness that would follow his fit and helped him take a seat, keeping his hand on his shoulder until Q no longer wobbled on the chair. 

“Maybe the person who is doing this doesn’t care about money and they just like to see you happy,” James chimed in, placing a plate with steaming food in front of Q, instantly distracting him if the growling stomach was a clear indication. “Brandy Flamed Peppercorn Steak for our hungry Quartermaster. Would you like some cold medicine with that?”

Q rolled his eyes. “I haven’t had a cold since University so a glass of that red wine would be perfect.”

***

The 21st had arrived to prove him wrong and Q glared at the ceiling above him while James checked his temperature again, a playful smile on his lips as he continued his teasing. “So, about that cold medicine, I offered you last—”

“Don’t pick on a sick man, Bond,” Q snapped in the most pathetic voice possible, sniffling and pulling the covers tighter around himself as a shiver ran through his body. “Please tell me we still have tissues.”

“Pretty sure we have enough,” James said as he gave Q one of the 21 packages of the softest tissues one could find on the market. “Would you like some cold medicine to go with that tissue or do you think that your stubbornness will cure you?”

Q glared but took the pills when they were offered without saying anything.

***

Q woke up feeling a lot better and a lot more embarrassed when he realized that the reason he was so warm was because, on top of his two fluffy heaters that happily purred away right under his feet, he had been nestled between Alec and James, both men finding a way not to fall out of his bed that could barely fit two people - and that said a lot about his non-existent sex life but as it was morning, he was perfectly healthy and he was sitting between some fine men who didn’t seem to be wearing anything else other than their briefs, Q didn’t want to linger on that thought for too long.

“How are you feeling?” Alec asked sleepily, his large, rough hand already on Q’s forehead.

“Much better,” Q said hoarsely, startled when Alec’s hand was joined by James’ unshaved chin against his cheek. “Are you two trying to get a cold?”

“We’re trying to make sure we don’t have to take you to medical,” James explained, pushing his face harder against Q’s chin. “Hmm, I can’t quite tell. Alec, what do you think?”

Never one to miss an opportunity, Alec was quick to push his face against Q’s. “He feels much better but we most definitely can’t let him get out of bed and we have to check his temperature regularly.”

The thermometer James was using last night would have been more than adequate, but hell if Q was going to deny himself 22 double-cuddles – and in the off-chance that he was wrong about who his Secret Santa was, he could always blame the way he smiled whenever James and Alec rubbed against him on the small fever he still had.

***

On the 23rd day of December, his two agents gave to him 23 broken baubles and his two cats stuck in the Christmas tree.

The mystery of how London had not yet fallen despite James and Alec living together for a decade remained. And on the ‘mystery’ note… “I had exactly zero shiny Christmas things in this house because of my little dears so where did those come from?”

“Special delivery from MI6,” Alec said without missing a beat. “Can you coax your little dears out of the tree? James thought he could and now he’s bleeding in the bathroom.”

Of course he did. “Leave it to you two to do something stupid just to avoid coming clean with something ahead of time,” Q grumbled, more than satisfied that when his cats jumped out of the tree, their first stop was on Alec’s back. “I hope James saved you some disinfectant.”

***

Q practically purred as James kneaded the ever-present tension from his shoulders. “If the massages last an hour each, this will be the greatest day of the year.”

“What makes you think I’ll give you 24 massages?” James asked right up against his ear, his warm breath sending shivers down his spine.

Q grinned. “You share _everything_ with Alec, so you’ll each give me 12.”

“Aren’t you cocky?”

He was also right.

***

Christmas morning found him alone in the apartment and still banned from his precious department but also staring at a suit that was much too expensive to the touch and look to be something he owned.

A little red card with golden letters stared at him from its place on top of 25 boxes that each revealed small pieces of equipment he long thought lost in missions.

_If it would please you to have Christmas dinner with us, meet us at the Alain_ _Ducasse_ _restaurant at The Dorchester tonight at 8_.

Q grinned and dug under his bed for the dangerous gifts he had made for the two agents, happy that they were all on the same page.


End file.
